She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
