Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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