I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
