If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This girl is more easily done than said...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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