just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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