i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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