Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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