What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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