you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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