I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
