On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
