There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
