yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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