My room smells like vodka and shame
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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