I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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