I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
