You're my little dorito
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
