i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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