What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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