Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
