I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
