Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
