VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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