farters have to be the big spoon...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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