What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
love makes seman taste better
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
