i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
