how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
