So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
