good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
