what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
