i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
