I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
