I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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