What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Nobody cheats on THIS.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
