And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
