there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
