You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
