I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
