Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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