Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
