One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
