you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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