i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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