but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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