So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
