so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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