It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
