Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
