He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
