Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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