Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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