Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
