epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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