Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
