So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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