What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
