Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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